All About Me Junk Journal 2021

For the last several days I have been working on a Junk Journal (JJ) that was ordered by someone who has purchased several things from me in the past. This particular one is called, "ALL ABOUT ME 2021". I am having fun with this one!

Now, just because these are called, "Junk Journals" - that does not mean there is junk in them. Yes, there may be tidbits of this and that...but that is what makes them fun. One never knows how the end result will turn out and two are never the same. I have fun creating Junk Journals. I am constantly looking for this and that and in fact, yesterday I made a comment on Facebook that I needed Paper Dolls for crafting! LOL - - a crafters mind...constantly envisioning creativity and thinking outside of the box! At least I do.  

The recipient follows me on my craft page and tells me all the time how much she enjoys looking at the Journals and other papercraft creations I make. After I had created mom's Memorial Album, she reached out to me and asked if I could make one for the memory of her mother.  I obliged...in fact, I sent it to her free of charge for her birthday along with a few extra goodies. 

Several weeks ago, when she contacted me to ask if I would make her a Junk Journal for 2021, I told her I could but it would not be until early 2021 before I could get to it due to prior commitments with other creations I had on my plate.  To make a long story short, I finished up my other projects and have been able to move forward with her Junk Journal.

A few years back before I really got into making Junk Journals, I had thrown some papers together and sewn them together. They were going to be for another large project I had waiting in the wings. Those 7 signatures containing 50 plus pages each have been sitting on my bookcase ever since. I decided to build the current JJ from those signatures. As I sat there flipping through the pages of each signature, I was having this conversation with myself. Talk about faux pas...I was nitpicking my work left and right. I could tell; these items were done long before I knew much about creating a JJ. (laughing out loud)

Even though I had the start of the current JJ, there needed to be a major overhaul on the signatures - but how was this going to happen since I had already sewn them together? I racked my brain and just dove in... grabbing wet adhesive, double-sided tape, my ruler, the scissors, and whatever else I needed to get the job done. 

I started out creating the shell and covers out of chipboard as I always do. I measured the current signatures, and they were 6 x 10, and I had seven of them. I chose to only use five of them. 

After I got the shell assembled and covered, I distressed the covers with inks. A variety of colors as shown here in the photograph. 

The different colors pop with each stroke of the dauber. Building layers upon layers, I continued inking the covers. As you see, the spine (in the center section of the bottom photo) is quite large. That is because the JJ I am making is going to be chunky and I need the space to build upon the already sewn signatures with assorted papers sitting in front of me. 

Continuing to look at the pages that are sewn together, I continue to shake my head and keep asking myself "what were you thinking"? I did have a plan several years ago when I originally chose the papers I had. But knowing what I know now about JJ and other portfolios, that plan quickly went out the window. That is why those signatures have been sitting on my bookcase now for a few years. What I envisioned then is not how I envision that project today. I will save it for another time...

Continuing to look at things on my bookcase, I noticed another tub of stuff. When I was in a crafting/swapping group a few years back, we exchanged Franken Pages and other JJ pages. I had both of these things in this tub. I grabbed a few of them to incorporate into the JJ I am currently making. A few of them had to be reworked, so I had the opportunity to add my twists and turns to them.

Laying the signatures to the side, for now, I went back to the shell of the Junk Journal. 

Staring at me across the room were my tubs of trims, ribbons, and assorted laces. I retrieved all of them and sat them by my desk. I wanted to do something else with the cover, but what? I needed those vibrant colors to pop even more than they already have...I grabbed the two tubs of lace. Looking at this lace and that lace, moving things here and there - my eyes quickly saw a beautiful piece of lace that had blacks, pinks, creams, and a touch of hunter green in it. PERFECT...that is the one I will use. 

That lace popped the inks I had previously laid on the covers...gorgeous! Then my eyes caught a glimpse of this piece of pink frilly lace. Perfect...that added a completely different look. 

Now that I have the cover somewhat started and nowhere near finished, I need to begin working, I mean overhauling the signatures. I had started embellishing and tweaking the five I chose but quickly realized before I get too deep into the overhaul of these signatures, I needed to get them sewn into the JJ. I grabbed my large sewing needle, some baker's twine, and began measuring where the holes needed to go. I began sewing the signatures into the spine. 

Whew, my fingers hurt...and the tips of my fingers, OUCH! Today, they are still tender to touch...sewing them into the spine was painstakingly difficult. Especially since I had already sewn them together and started embellishing them previously. Mistake!!! But I overcame...

I am now working on adding other pages, pockets, tuck spots, and assorted embellishments to the pages along with more trims, fibers, and lace. I am having a blast with this Junk Journal. I hope to have it completed by the end of the year. That is to be determined. 

Without giving up the anticipation of surprise, for the recipient, here are a few pages and what the JJ looks like before I start my day today...it is constantly changing and hopefully, by tonight it will look much different. 

I am off to create more beautiful pages in this JJ. 

Tonight, I am going with my daughter and her family to look at Christmas lights. 

I hope you and your family have a safe and Merry Christmas. Remember, none of us are promised tomorrow. Be sure to tell your friends and loved ones how much they mean to you and make those amends before it is too late. 

Have a wonderful day everyone! 

Heart to Heart Soul Creations
H2hsc2020

Facebook: H2hsc2020

Twitter: H2hsc2020

Instagram: Heart to Heart Soul Creations

Pinterest: Heart to Heart Soul Creations (H2hsc2020)

#papercrafting, #creativity, #inspiration, #junkjournals, #allaboutme, #allthingspaper, #lace, #ephemera

Wordless Wednesday

 

Heart to Heart Soul Creations

H2hsc2020

Facebook: H2hsc2020
Twitter: H2hsc2020
Instagram: Heart to Heart Soul Creations
Pinterest: Heart to Heart Soul Creations (H2hsc2020)

#wordlesswednesday, #uplifting, #quotes, #Christmastime, #memories

FOCUS 2020 versus 2021

Every time the mail gets brought into the house, I look through it to see what needs to hit 'file 13' and what needs to be filed away. You know, bills, statements, cards, etc. As a crafter, I find it hard to throw anything away because I always think in the back of my mind, oooooo - -"I CAN use that on a project" or "THAT" would be awesome with this project. How many of you can relate? 

2020 has been an unusual year for everyone in general due to the COVID Pandemic. With all this time on my hands since we could not get out and about, on many occasions, I found myself going through things in my craft room to 'purge' instead of oohing and awwing over. In fact, I threw so much 'stuff' away that should have hit file 13 upon its arrival than I care to blurt out loud. I am sure one day in my future, I will kick myself for doing so. But not today...

Here is an example of what I am talking about. Periodicals in every form. Words I have cut out and placed in bags to use in collages. I have about 25 assorted magazines that I still have not gone through tearing and cutting pictures and/or words out of to use in my crafting projects. With that stack of magazines, I probably have 5 - 9 large freezer bags full of torn out words, neatly cut words, and assorted images. Yes, too many!!! I never thought there would be a day that I said "I have too many"...I always want more, more, MORE! (chuckling out loud)

                                                                                                                                                

On Monday, I managed to finish up several projects that I started a few months back. I can see the top of my desk and the floor for that fact! In fact, my room is all organized once again, and everything is in its place. When I am in the 'zone'...it looks like the Tasmanian Devil has come through my crafting room. But who has time to clean it as I go, I do not! Especially when I am crafting. If I am cooking, that is a totally different story...I wash dishes as I go. LOL

I feel accomplished that I finally finished all the albums I have been working on since the end of September. This is one of the reasons I have been away from blogging for the last few months. They took most of my time and focus as I had to be precise in measurements, cutting, and placing things for them to be a success.   Not to mention the constant health issues that continue to plague my body. I had to shift a few days, make other arrangements and in fact, cancel days that I had planned for crafting or genealogy just to become a couch potato due to health issues. Today, I feel okay...and I will leave it right there. Do not want to jinx it...not that I am superstitious or anything like that! LOL

My focus in 2020 started out with a plan at the end of 2019...I was on a smooth ride until the early part of February when I got extremely sick. Then my mom died and shortly after that, I ended up in the hospital for almost three weeks because I was 'that' sick.  I have not been at 100 % since. But I manage. Each day, I make a constant effort to get out of bed, clean myself up, put on clothes, and begin my day. Whatever it looks like. 

Some days I make plans to craft or work on my Genealogy (which is another one of my most favorite past times in the world).  Pertaining to crafting - I have so much stuff that I could craft for days on end and never even make a dent in my things.  I have donated things, I have sold things, and yet...at the end of the day, I still have STUFF! Plenty of stuff...

Genealogy and research stuff are in my room too. Drawers and drawers and drawers of it. There are tubs of photos that I am in the process of scanning into the computer. Remember those binders I blogged about earlier in the year? Yes, I am still working on the binders I started earlier in the year that was on my 'to do' list for 2020. When will I ever get to a stopping point there? Probably never...as research always uncovers a new branch on my Family Tree. But I am not complaining...love the history of my ancestors! 

In between all the projects I have on my plate, I try to always find time to do a page or two in one of my many Glue Books using those cut-out words and images I mentioned above. This morning as I wrapped up a few things I had left undone from last night, I glanced over at my bookcase and saw a bag of torn/cut out words and images. I grabbed it and quickly picked up one of my Glue Books. I do not ever have a focus or theme in mind when I am working on these books...I just go with the flow and today was no different. One thing I will say though I do is stay within the bag I chose, or the box of things cut out. I do not look for other things to use instead of what is in front of me. FOCUS...stay focused! 

I pulled out a photo of a car that I had fussy cut. I placed it on the page. Not in any order or thought process. I just glued it on. Then I added a few more images. I had pulled out a handful of torn, cut out words from the bag like I showed above. I looked at the words in my hand. CELEBRATE was the first word I touched.  I placed it on the page. 

Continuing to build the page out, another set of words I had in my hand was, COME TO LIFE - so I placed it on the page...

The page was beginning to bring on life. "COME TO LIFE, CELEBRATE". What a concept...especially in 2020! This year has brought so many heartaches, uncertainties, loss of income, loss of life, and yet on the opposite side of that statement, 2020 has brought people closer together because of 'stay at home' orders, brought life, brought new revelations, and has given purpose to many in some way or another. Looking at the page and the words in my hand, a world of wonderful and the TODAY fell onto my desk. Okay, I will use both on the page was my thought. 

Piddling around trying to figure out where I wanted to place them, I ended up putting 'world of wonderful' next to the word, celebrate and the word, TODAY just underneath. 

So now I have with my images this...COME TO LIFE, CELEBRATE A WORLD OF WONDERFUL TODAY. That began to resonate with me. Thinking about 2020, the world has not been wonderful at all this year. It has taken and taken and taken and what have we been given back? I pondered this for a little bit while staring at the page before me. I pushed my chair back and would not you know it, I knocked off the bag of torn out cut-out words to the floor. Oh my...so much for my cleaned-up floor! LOL

As I picked up the words and images (there must be about 150 or so in this bag), I saw the words, FINDING FOCUS...that is it! That is what I want to use next. I placed it on the page. FOCUS...we all need to find focus whatever it is. I am sure it is different for many of us and the same for some. Have you ever just let that word resonate with you for a moment?

F * O * C * U * S - what does it mean? I am glad you asked. Let me tell you the definition of the word. 

FOCUS: 

*the center of interest or activity

*the state or quality of having or producing a clear visual definition

Well, what my focus was at the end of 2019 is not how 2020 ended up. I had a clear vision and plan of what I wanted to accomplish this year. This is what it looked like: 

January: Start my BLOG, do more crafting projects (Junk Journals, Portfolios, meet new cousins by way of DNA matches) just to name a few

February: Build my followers, order themed papers and ephemera for crafting projects, make plans for trips to different parts of the USA

March: Continue to build my brand, begin working on Junk Journals and other crafting projects, make travel plans, etc. 

April: Continue building followers, continue working on the brand, get a website up and running, work on crafting projects (for sale and for fun), get ready to meet new family

May: 

June: 

July: 

August: 

September:

October: 

November:

December: 

I will not bore you with all the details of my vision I put in place in the latter part of 2019, but you get the picture. I was FOCUSED on 2020 and wanted to put things in motion and I did. Like many of you, I have had to reprioritize my 2020 plans and make changes. Nothing was ever concrete so adjusting was somewhat easy. 

Here we are, two and half weeks before we hit 2021, and looking back on the accomplishments I had for myself in 2020, have been nothing but unsuccessful - -but that is OKAY!!! There is always tomorrow...after all, sometimes - we just need to be still and wait. Sit quietly and listen...

2020 has given me reassurances that tomorrow is not always promised. Love your loved ones today. Make amends and learn to ask for forgiveness (whether it be for self or for another person). Have a sense of self-worth because YOU matter. Learn what you are made of - OWN it. 

Finishing up the page in my Glue Book, I ended up with this...

The page says it all...how did your 2020 focus end? Did you get wrapped up in all the muck of what this year brought forth? Or did you stay in your vision and take this time to grow and find strength?

Thinking about "FOCUS", what was yours this year? The virus, family, loss of life, finances, or survival? Whatever it was...did it ever shift for you? How is your focus in 2021 going to be different than this year, 2020?

What are some of the changes you are going to put in place to ensure that your focus shifts?

Here is to a new tomorrow, a new outlook, change, and new beginnings...

I look forward to hearing from you... 

Heart to Heart Soul Creations
H2hsc2020

Facebook: H2hsc2020
Twitter: H2hsc2020
Instagram: Heart to Heart Soul Creations
Pinterest: Heart to Heart Soul Creations (H2hsc2020)

#Life, #thinkingoutloud, #Focus, #change, #2020, #stayathome, #newbeginnings, #inspiration, #coping, #crafting, #Gluebooks, #Genealogy, #blogging, #mindfulness

Rejection is a Beast

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. Have you ever been rejected by someone? How did you handle it? Did you shrug it off and walk away with your head held high, or did you crumble into a million pieces and ask the only question you can, "WHY" a million times over? 

This is how I decipher rejection...

It hits you in the gut like a 100-pound ball of steel. It knocks the air out of you...it is numbing. It makes you question everything you thought was going right. It makes a person have a complex. It causes one not to trust others. It steals the very life right out of your being...

Rejection stings. Yet this sting does not just go away with a snap of a finger. It lingers. It creates confusion in one's mind. It creates hurt in the heart and it takes away what little joy a person may have had. 

Tonight, I had an encounter. It was not one I was anticipating, just kind of happened by accident. I made a comment, the look I witnessed was priceless...the moment was awkward., the feeling I felt afterwards was hard to swallow. My eyes filled up with tears, I felt lost. I felt defeated. I felt all the 1000's of questions I have had for so many years begin to swirl around my head again with all the question marks. Who am I? Rejection...

Growing up with all the questions of why with no answers was a lonely road to travel. Learning how to walk forward in life with confidence took work. It did not come easy...I built up walls, I built up a safety net around me so I would 'not' feel anything. This lasted for years...more than I care to admit honestly. 

A few years back, almost eight to be exact, my oldest daughter walked out of my life with no explanation. Rejection...all the feelings of 'why' all over again. No communication. No reasons. 

Tonight's reaction is not about my oldest daughter, but my entire family overall. Even the ones I never knew... The hurts they have caused and the rejection that continues to plague my heart are relentless all the way from the top, down...I have always heard if one wants to change, it has to start at the top. Well, at the top / both have passed, so how does this change the course of my life? 

I try to communicate with my grandchildren...nothing but excuses or complete silence on the other end. Why? because of all the lies that have been spoken about me.  One day, this too will all be revealed...and time will have been lost and too late. 

The events of tonight opened so many emotions for me...so I ask myself the 'why'? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this situation? The tears have flowed for the last several minutes and I cannot explain the whys other than, I have lived through so many hurts in life from the day I was conceived, and yet, I'm 'not' supposed to have a reason to feel the way I feel inside of my heart, inside of my mind, inside of my being. 

I need to shake this feeling. This reaction to a situation that is completely out of my grasp. But how...become cold and shut off again from all of mankind? Build up the walls to protect my heart again? Shrug people off, not have a feeling to anything or anyone? Become cold as ice as my mom used to tell me...it is ironic, to say the least of all people, she told me I had a heart of ice. WOW!!!! More rejection, more lies, more abandonment...it never stops! Even after they are gone...MAKE IT STOP!, but how? 

For the last hour and a half, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out 'why' I have had the reaction I have had tonight. I cannot put my finger on it...I cannot shake this feeling. It has cut deep, like the knife in the back all over again...by a total stranger. WOW - - 

I  need to process this deeply, quietly, and alone...I need to figure this out and fast! I need to write. I need to journal. I need to craft. I need to be still. I need to run...oh wait, I cannot run. My back is up against a wall - -I need to flee. But I cannot do that either. I just need to breathe. Long, slow, deep breaths. Calm my spirit...but how? Why? WHY am I feeling like this, tell me, WHY??? Because I AM BIGGER than that! I have a choice. 

Pandora is on. The station has changed...and yet, the tears still flow. 

Rejection creates pain...

I take a glimpse of my arms...I see the scars from days of yesterday. The ones that rejected me long before tonight. The pain, the heartache, the lies, the betrayal, the hurts, the anger, and the rage. I wanted to feel what I no longer felt. I wanted the pain I relinquished on myself to release the inner pain that had been bestowed upon me so many times by so many people. Those scars are a constant reminder of where I have been and where I am today...LIVING! BREATHING...Just being.  

Rejection steals...

the joy, the peace, the happiness, the place of solace, the place of forgiveness. Instead, it creates so much chaos and confusion. It places doubts in one's mind. It creates turmoil...whether we like it or not. 

Rejection...no wonder people choose to walk away from the hurts. That is what  I did back in the day...but when rejection becomes a mountain in front of your path, how does one climb above it?

I am mentally and emotionally exhausted by all of the rejection I have lived through during my fifty-eight years on this earth. Yet, I continue to breathe...but how?  It would be so much easier to give up, wave the white flag, throw in the towel, bury one's head in the sand, walk away yet again...BUT I cannot. I have felt rejection from everyone in my immediate family circle in one way or the other...and yet, I rise above.

I continue to lean on God's strength and understanding. Expecting that one day, all will reveal itself and those who do not believe - -will learn the truth, but by then, I can assure you it will be too late as my last breath would have already been taken...

Rejection is a BEAST...it kills. 

Heart to Heart Soul Creations
H2hsc2020

Facebook: H2hsc2020
Twitter: H2hsc2020
Instagram: Heart to Heart Soul Creations
Pinterest: Heart to Heart Soul Creations (H2hsc2020)

 

#thinkingoutloud, #life, #rejection, #hurts, #strength, #HOPE, #cutter, #recovery, #resilience