Day 22 What Do You Love About Your Life - Self Love

Day twenty-two in the Self-Love Challenge. The daily prompt asked us what we loved about ourselves. 

Like the rest of the daily prompts, this particular one squeezes me too. I do not like talking about myself on any level. I would much rather put everyone else above me and my wants, needs, and desires. Now I am asked about what I love about myself...oh my. 

Okay, I will take a jab at this. A few things I love about myself are: 

1. my smile
2. my loyalty
3. my wit
4. my creativity
5. my hair
6. my freckles (I did NOT always like them though)! When I was a teenager, I tried to scrub them off with lemon juice. All that did was irritate my face for days...
7. my determination
8. my perseverance
9. my resilience
10. my desire to NOT settle

I will use these for future blogs. In the meantime, what do you love about yourself? 

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Day 29 What Does Self-Love Mean to You

The prompt for Day 29 in the Self-Love Challenge was "what does self-love mean to me"? 

Something that I am not good at doing is putting myself first. I think this is what self-love means in all honesty. After all, who is going to take care of my needs and my wants better than me, right? 

I view self-love as tending to my personal needs, wants, and desires. I struggle with doing this daily though. I tend to put other's needs before my own. Whether it is materialistic, physical, or emotional. However, I do not get the same courtesy. 

Maybe it is time to start putting myself first daily. This way, when I get let down the only person, I need to blame is me. 

Now that I have settled this thought - let me get to taking care of myself. 

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Day 23 What Skills Do You Have That Will Help You Get To Your Dream - Self Love

In the Self-Love Challenge, day 23 asked us about the skills we have that will help us get to our dreams in life.

Pondering that question for a long time, I had to ask myself what dreams do I have now in life? I mean come on...I am a mother of three grown children, a wife, a person who lives with health issues and the story goes on and on. What kind of dreams can I have today?

Back in the day, I was proud to say I was a 'quick study'. Today, with all my health issues - my memory is not as sharp as it was. I can be doing something one minute and the next moment, forget what it was I was doing. So frustrating...

Thinking about the dreams I have had in the past for my life - many were just that, a dream. Unfulfilled. Lifeless. Unaccomplished. How many of you have had dreams like this? Have you replaced those abandoned dreams of yesterday with new dreams for your today or tomorrow? I am having a hard time thinking about the dreams I have today.

The skills I possessed looked like this but were not limited to the following:

• Quick Study
• Problem Solver
• Organization
• Critical Thinking Skills
• Communication
• Strong Decision - Making
• Public Speaking
• Teamwork
• Leader
• Management
• Creativity
• Adaptability
• Self-Motivation

Looking at this list, I still possess many of these skills today that would help me achieve my dreams. I would need to tweak a few of them though since I no longer work outside of the home. I guess I could and would 'manage' myself! LOL 

In life, everyone has skills. Some do not realize their own potential because it has not been nurtured. I know for myself; I strive to learn daily. Whether it is by hands-on, reading or even visual - I want to learn each day. Learning is knowledge. The more I equip myself with skills, the more valuable I become. What am I worth? I cannot put a dollar amount on that, but if I am learning and applying what I know - that is priceless! 

What is your value in life? 

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Day 26 - How Can You Change Your Mindset to Love Yourself More

Changing my mindset to love myself more is a challenge for me. However, that was the Daily prompt for Day 26 in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place/Pam Allen. Yes, I'm still playing catch up...I'm almost there! LOL

For me to love myself more, first I need to come to the place of acceptance within myself. I am only responsible for my actions and not the ones from other people. I can't change what it is they do so why let it bother me. 

Secondly, I need to forgive myself daily. In other words - quit allowing the offenses of others to dictate my peace. If they want to hold on to all their grudges, their discontents and their hurts created by me from years and years ago - that's on them. I am NOT the same person I was 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 years ago. All I am responsible for is myself. We are all adults. We make our own choices. With those choices though are consequences...again, I only need to be responsible for my own. 

Third - love me daily. don't wait around for others to love me. I'll be waiting forever. Sure, love is nice when it comes from other people - but with that, also comes the chance of pain, hurts, and betrayal. When I love myself daily - everything else falls into place. If I am not happy, then others around me will feed off that negative energy. What is that saying, "love is all you need"? I used to think that it meant love from others but in reality - it is really LOVE for yourself. Not in a proud or haughty manner either. Just love...

I feel that our mindsets are an especially important part of our life. The mind is an enormously powerful tool when it comes to mind over matter. If I look at things that come up daily in a different mindset - many times, I can smile - keep moving and not skip a beat. BUT, if I allow the negativity, the voices of distraction and the would of, could of, should of sit-in - I'm done. LOL 

Again, the mindset..." just go with the flow". Life is nothing but an adventure and we hold the map in our hands by our choices, our words, our reactions, and our perseverance. Remember though, we must learn to forgive and move on. Those grudges and ill wills will get you in the long run. 

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Day 28 What are 5 Affirmations You Will Say Everyday

In the Self-Love Challenge on Day 28, the prompt was "what are 5 affirmations you will say every day". 

The first thing that comes to mind is that quote from Kathryn Stockett in the movie, The Help, "You is Kind. You is smart. You is Important". 

Ever since I watched that movie, I have said those that quote. Even on Thursday playing with my grandson, I told him that. It is funny how something so small can make such an impact on a human being.

I will use those three things as part of my five affirmations that I tell myself on a daily basis.

The other two things would be You Matter and You are Worthy.

I don't know about you, but there have been times that I felt like I did not matter and I sure didn't feel like I was worthy. I soon realized I did not care if others thought these things of me as long as I felt I mattered and I was worthy - that was all I needed to be concerned with. My mindset changed. I changed.

Today as you go through the rest of your day, think about why you matter. Think about why you are worthy. Think about how you are kind. Think about how smart you are and think about why you are important. 

Remember, what you do makes a difference so be true to yourself.

Have a great day!

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Day 27 - Write a Love Letter to Yourself

May 27, 2020

It is day 27 in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place/Pam Allen. 

She asked us to write a love letter to ourselves. Being one who likes to journal, I do not find this task difficult at all. 

The letter I would write myself would be encouraging, uplifting, inspiring, and embracing life today. It would look like this...

Dear Self, 

There have been those times in life where you have wanted to give up because of the hurts, the pains, and all the icks that have been thrown at you. I would like to encourage you to continue holding your head high and share your smile. By doing this, you show that your spirit has not been broken. 

You are a beautiful, caring person. You have a heart of gold. Regardless of what some may think. Love yourself. You are worthy to be loved the way you have loved. Expect to be loved the way you want to be loved. YOU DESERVE IT! 

The journey you have walked the last 57 years is more than any one person should ever have to live through. But you did and you survived. You SURVIVED when loved ones told you that you would fail. You did not fail! You set the course and you went headstrong into your destiny. Sure, there were obstacles along the way that tripped you up, but that was okay. You turned those stumbling blocks into steppingstones. 

In life, we must take the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is all about the mindset we have. There have been those moments when everything looked like a huge jumbled mess. But you endured. You stayed the course. Sure, you may have waivered some - but you always stood strong. Do not start falling apart now...you have come too far to stop now. 

You get to choose what you will accept and what you will put up with. Remove the toxic relationships and move forward. Remove the negativity and move forward. You deserve to be happy and free. Embrace life and what it has to offer. Run into your destiny...(if only I could run!) LOL

Always remain true to yourself and no matter what is thrown your way, you will endure. You have before and you will again. Your life matters! YOU matter. 

Create your own story. Live your own story. Believe in yourself. Be UNIQUE - - Just live for the moment...live for today! 

Love always, 

Me

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Day 21 What or Who Inspires You - Self Love

Day 21
Self-Love Challenge

What or Who Inspires You? That was the daily prompt for day 27 in the Self-Love Challenge.

I have several individuals who have inspired me through the years. With the exception of the number one spot, these are not in any particular order.

1. Jesus Christ (first and foremost)
2. Harriet Tubman
3. My daughter, Hannah Hays
4. Helen Keller
5. Princess Diana
6. Oprah Winfrey
7. Rosa Parks
8. My granddad (Richard Dudley Schoonover)

The words in this song, "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler is mine and my daughter's song. It says it all.

CREDIT: YouTube and Bette Midler

I love you Hannah - -I'm very proud of you!!! <3

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Day 17 What Makes You Unique

I'm making progress in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place/Pam Allen. I found myself a bit behind after watching my grandson for a few days earlier this week.

None*the*less, we keep moving forward, right!?

The daily prompt for Day 17 was "What Makes You Unique"? haaaa - - that's a tuff one. I mean, we all share commonalities and we all possess things that set us apart from others. But to toot my own horn? That's not an easy feat to accomplish. I could also answer this with - -guess that depends on who you ask!

Let me sit on this for a few moments...what makes me unique? My smile. My freckles. My heart. My friendship. My love. My trust. My ability to forgive. My kindness and generosity. My loyalty.

These are things that make me unique.

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Day 14 - What Are Your Biggest Insecurities

The prompt for Day 14 in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place/Pam Allen was "What Are Your Biggest Insecurities". 

I'm my worst critic. I set the bar high for myself as back in the day, I used to be able to reach the mark. Today, I struggle with just getting through a day anymore due to health issues.

My weight. Having chronic health issues arise since the onset of Stage 3 Thyroid Cancer in 2013 - my weight has completely gone out of the window. Having Environmental Asthma doesn't help either since I must take steroids out of the wazoo. Exercise the doctors say...not sure how that's supposed to work when I can't even walk from room to the room in my house without feeling like I'm going to pass out from respiratory issues. Some days, I just shake my head!

Providing for myself. Back in the day when I could work, I was self-sufficient. I didn't worry about the what if's in life. Now that my health has taken a turn and I've had to walk out of the working force, being dependant on others is quite difficult for me. In fact, it's a scary place to be - especially feeling as though it is NOW someone else's responsibility to take care of me and my needs. UGH

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3/15/2020 Ten Things of Thankful

Photo: A red heart hangs from a wire. "Ten Things of Thankful" is written to the left of the heart.

This is my second week of participating in the Ten Things of Thankful event. After reading their announcements, it looks like they are gearing up to celebrate Seven Years of doing their TToT. How fun is that!!! 

Thank you or the warm welcome and the comments left from my first post...I feel the love already!!! 

Thinking about things that I am thankful for this week the list looks like this: 

1. My family (I'm now able to be around my youngest grandson once again. I have been on strict quarantine since the 1st of March due to being extremely sick. He turned 3 months old this last Wednesday).  Meet Caiden Oliver Hays. 

2. The beautiful birds in the backyard. We have placed two DIY bird baths and bird feeders in the yard. I enjoy sitting and watching the Cardinals, the Blue jays and, the Doves. There are also other types of birds. They all bring a smile to my face. 

3. We created a memory garden for my mom. I planted several types of flowers in it. We ventured out to Hobby Lobby last weekend and I picked up two rabbits from the Easter Clearance 80% off aisle to place in it. I'm thankful the flowers that were planted are beginning to peek through the dirt. (I thought we lost them before we placed the bricks around due to them being whacked by the weed eater). Each week, I am going to add more color. I'm in the process of making another bird feeder to put near the wheelbarrow too! 

4. I'm getting my mojo back with regards to crafting. The joy of doing so had been sucked out of my last year due to a life situation...slowly, I am finding joy in crafting again. That was obvious last week when I made the Memory Album for my mom to honor her memory for Mother's Day. Here is a canvas I created a few weeks back just piddling around...the flower is a napkin. 

5. I'm excited to meet new friends through blogging and social media. Only to learn that possibly we may even be cousins - even if it's distant, I love it!!! I'm very thankful for the new friendships. 

6. Something I don't take for granted is life. I'm very thankful today I live and breathe. I owe all my gratitude to my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ. (This is a glue book I made for another challenge I am in participating in called, Self-Love).

7. Journaling has been something I have done for most of my life. Never in a million years did I think it was blogging. I'm thankful a friend was very persistent with me last year to start my own blogging journey. It has opened a whole new world for me. Still a newbie at it though and I'm sure, my style isn't like many others. That's okay. That's why we are all UNIQUE! 

8. Walking with my ancestors - I get excited every day when I make new connections by way of DNA matches. Just this morning, I received an email from a person on my mom's paternal lines that I don't know much about. My heart jumped up and down with excitement. I'm thankful for the family connections of total strangers. 

9. Love -- I'm still navigating this one after a life situation last year. I am thankful though I know the power of forgiveness. 

10. Thankfulness - there was a time I wasn't thankful for anything. I carried the chips on my shoulder and was mad at everyone because of life situations. Today, I can honestly say - - I am VERY thankful for many people and many things in life. I call those tribulations the 'stumbling blocks in life which I have turned into steppingstones". 

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Day 13 - When Do You Feel Most Loved? Self-Love Challenge

I am participating in the Self Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place/Pam Allen. Today we are on day 13. The prompt was "when do you feel most loved"? 

If I have said it once, I have said it multiple times - this challenge has squeezed me on several of the prompts. I am finding myself processing emotions and places in my heart that once were not an issue. Thanks, Pinkmama's Place!!! LOL

Ruminating over the daily prompt, my mind thinks about different times in my life. For instance, participating also in the Song Challenge hosted by The Mommies Review, we were supposed to name a song we would have liked played at our wedding. I found several photos of my marriage in 1994 the other day. I immediately thought about that time in my life. I was incredibly happy, and I felt very loved. Sadly, all those feelings were short very short-lived. 

I also thought about the times I gave birth to my three beautiful children. I fell instantly in love with them and they with me. Again, life has happened and the older two are no longer a part of my life. Their choices... (sometimes I wonder if I am the problem). Why can't I be loved the way I give love? 

Answering this question “when do I feel the most loved” today is exceedingly difficult at this season in my life. If you had posed this question to me in the first quarter of 2019 - I could have without a doubt answered it quickly. Today, it is quite challenging, to say the least. HONESTLY!!! I have people in my life who say they love me - who have also hurt me to the core...how do I trust that? Do they ever gain my trust again? It is hard...

People have conditions for love...I am no exception. All who are a part of my life, all have conditions on their love for me...I think the only way I will get around this question is to 'love myself for me'. At least this way, I am accountable for my feelings, my actions, and my choices.  I will not feel the betrayal of the blindside or hear the lies that come from choices made by others. Especially when they have been called out on them. I cannot tell you how irate lies make me feel...I despise them with a burning passion. They hurt, they destroy, and they kill the innermost parts of a person's heart. 

When I feel the most loved is when I am at peace with myself. When I have a clear understanding of my choices and when I hold myself accountable for my own actions. That is WHEN I feel most loved...on one hand, that is sad and on the other – it is self-preservation for my sanity. 

I wish I could trust when others say they 'love' me, but I have been hurt one too many times by those who are supposed to love me. For now, the only love I trust is that of my Heavenly Father...He will sustain me until I take my last breath. 

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Day 12 - Love and Self Acceptance

                                          May 12, 2020

I am participating in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pam Allen/Pinkmama's Place. The daily prompt for Day 12 was, "How would you feel if you truly loved and accepted self"? 

I must admit, this challenge really gets into the nitty-gritty of a person's self-image. I know it is to make a person think about themselves and where they are inside. At times, it is extremely uncomfortable though I must say...I have been squeezed. I have had to deal with more 'stuff'. I have had to feel emotions I do not want to feel because I have come to the acceptance of them. Or have I really? Never the less, I continue working through the challenge. It would be easy enough to walk away from though...

I remember when I worked for a Ministry several years ago, we were having a Department meeting. The things that were discussed made many individuals extremely upset. Our manager asked the group, what is it about 'this' that is making you all upset? Is it the fact that it is going to be this, this, and this, or is it something inside of YOU that is triggering an emotion you do not like?

This Self-Love Challenge is doing this for me...it is triggering thoughts, emotions, and feelings that I thought had been processed over the years. Maybe it is not that they have not been dealt with or anything like that, but just the fact it is bringing them back to the surface again. I am having a different reaction to most of them today. 

The question asked, how would I feel if I truly loved and accepted myself? I would be completely at peace. I would not second guess myself in any way. 

There have been times in my life that I was at this place with myself. The last several years though have created many holes inside of my heart which in turn has changed the way I feel today. I know I need to get back to the place I once was, I would be much happier there. 

I went through a very hurtful situation last year that opened many wounds from my childhood through my thirties. It has been extremely difficult to FIND my happy place again. That ordeal stole my joy, broke my heart, and blindsided me. I felt very betrayed all over again. I felt abandoned. I felt as though I was discarded like a piece of trash. 

The joy for crafting left me. The joy of walking with my ancestors left me. The joy to live left me. The joy to smile left me. The joy of just being left me. Now, for the most part, all I feel is that I am going through the motions because that is what I am supposed to do. 

How would I feel if I could truly love and accept myself? I would feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I would feel like I could breathe again. I would feel like I have value and self-worth. I would feel like I matter. I would feel like I make a difference...and again, the tears flow. 

I do not like these feelings I have inside right now...it all seems too familiar to me and I do not like it. I am at the place that I do not care and that is NOT a good place for me to be in. 

I once was a happy person full of life, love, and joy. I feel lost right now...

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My Dream Life

I'm still playing catch up in the Self-Love Challenge. The daily prompt for Day 10 was, "What is Your Dream Life"?

I haven't thought about that scenario in a few years. When I worked and could support myself it looked one way. Now that I'm disabled and dependant on others...I suppose it has changed a great deal.

Let me ruminate on this a few minutes...What Is My Dream Life? 

Honestly speaking, it would be the following, but not limited to:

• Peace (peace of mind, peace in the family, peace in the world, overall peace)
• Living in a log cabin in the middle of a mountainside
• Healthy (body, soul, and mind)
• Acceptance and Forgiveness (by others who live in the past and hold grudges over me)
• Owning and driving a Rolls Royce (has always been my DREAM car)
• Being about to travel wherever and whenever I want
• Being able to Love and Trust without any reservations

I don't even know what a dream life even looks like anymore. I suppose for some, it might look like living in a huge mansion-like those around the corner from where I live. (It's still not occupied)

I think right now, I'm living the dream life. I'm at home 24/7. I'm able to craft, blog, and research genealogy when I want to. Yes, I'm limited to mobility because of my health - but honestly, I have no qualms and I don't have any needs unmet. 

We can always want more - but most times, that comes with a price. Yes, I want more for my life...but I also have to be realistic. This last year has definitely rocked me to the core where that is all concerned. What I once thought important no longer plays a role in my thinking. 

Today, I just want to have peace, love, and acceptance on my terms! THAT is my dream life...

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Day 9 - Self Love Challenge

Today I'm playing catch up on a few blog posts that I didn't get too over the weekend. I have a good reason for missing them. I was spending time and catch up with my youngest grandson, Caiden.

You see, I've been extremely sick since the middle of February, hospitalized for two and half weeks, and have recently come off of strict quarantine due to RSV and COVID 19. Yea, it's been a crazy few months, to say the least!

The prompt for Day 9 in the Self Love Challenge that Pinkmama's Place / Pam Allen is putting on was "What Is Your Biggest Achievement"?

ONE: giving birth to three beautiful children

TWO: Being true to self. Forgiving myself for all of the failures I've had in life. There are still a few areas that I'm working on and will be until I come to the place of acceptance for them. They pertain to family and I have to say, I've been hurt deeply and just trying to work through all that has proven to be difficult at times.

Guilt keeps trying to creep in and I am in a constant battle with self. I have to come to terms with that I cannot control other's actions, choices, or decisions and that I'm ONLY responsible for my own actions regardless of how it affects me. Easier said than done some days...

THREE: Being able to hold my head high and not look back at the journey life has dealt in a negative manner. If anyone has a reason to stay in the bed, bury her head in the sand, not give a hoot about anyone or anything - I could check all of those boxes off in an instance. But that's NOT me...I feel good about who I am today. Where I've come and what I'm about...

I've been able to turn those stumbling blocks of life into stepping stones. It's made me stronger. It's made me a better person and it's shown me that I am a stronger and more resilient individual than I give myself credit for.

I am reminded of a little song we used to sing in church. He's still working on me...yes, He is. Daily and thank goodness or I would be a miserable individual!

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Day 8 - "What are the most beautiful parts of You?" Self Love Challenge

Day 8- Self Love Challenge Journal Prompt- What are the most beautiful parts of you?

Today in the Self-Love Challenge hosted by Pinkmama's Place, the prompt is "what are the most beautiful parts of you"? 

At one time, I used to say it was my smile...I don't smile much these days. :(

My hair would be something else I was pleased with. Now, it's full of grays and wearing thin. 

Lastly, my freckles. I remember as a teenager I hated them. I took lemons and a scrubby pad and went to town on my face. I wanted to remove every last one of them. I didn't succeed. I DID succeed though in making my face very red. LOL

Remember, it doesn't matter how you view your beauty as long as you see it! 

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