A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

February 1, 2020

Today would have been my mom and dad's 56 wedding anniversary. Although mom is still with us, dad gained his angel wings back in April of 2009. 

I called mom this morning and said, 'Happy Anniversary mom'. She replied, 'how long would it have been, I've lost track'? 

As I ponder the longevity of 56 years together with another human being, it's hard to fathom that in a couple of weeks, I will have 20 years invested in my marriage and the last 10 months has literally been a blur. I do not care to repeat those months...and at the same time, I'm not even sure I should even say 20 years. It's funny to me how circumstances dictate how a person feels about things moving forward. I'd just soon forget 2019 even existed but it did, and I'll accept the good with the bad. After all, that's how we grow - right? 

I was cleaning out a drawer full of cards yesterday. These cards were from friends and family. From this event and that event and some were even just to say, "thinking about you" cards. I ran across one dated, 2/14/2019 and it was written from me to my husband. I immediately thought - had I known what the next 10 months would have held - I probably would NOT have given that card to him. Funny how our mind thinks...especially when we've been hurt or betrayed. I immediately started reflecting on the last couple of months’ worth of conversations. Many were hard to have, while others just fell on deaf ears. 

I was talking with a very close relative a couple of weeks ago...they said, 'if anyone has any reasons 'not' to forgive or hold grudges it would be you'. She was talking about me and the journeys I have lived through in life. I sat there pondering her comment and bowed my head and thanked God that I am NOT the person I once was...because had it not been for His grace, His forgiveness, His comfort, and His love - I would not be able to find forgiveness in people today. I would be one miserable individual. I learned forgiveness a very long time ago and I'm thankful today that I can forgive others, but most of all I can forgive myself. Not because I may have been in the wrong, but because I'm human and I make mistakes. 

I'll never understand humanity and I really don't care to. I know, in the end, we will all be held accountable for the life we led - the thoughts we've had and the choices we make. For me to move forward in life and free from the junk - I must dig deep into self and reflect on the lessons that are to be learned from whatever took place. That's how we grow. If we aren't willing to change - we won't grow and eventually, we will grow stagnant. 

Many years ago, someone told me, at times - things happen in our lives not because we need to learn a lesson - but somethings happen so others can see the resilience and the strength that comes from those lessons we walkthrough. Reflecting on last year and many other instances in life - I've learned how to be resilient from the muck of life and my choices and the choices of others. I've been battered, I've been broken and at the same time - I have grown and learned how to turn those stumbling blocks into steppingstones. I've become a stronger individual walking through the journey called life.

Today, we were outside working in the yard tending to a few things that needed to get done. The day turned out to be a pleasant one and even our fur baby was enjoying himself romping around in the

leaves. As we worked on projects together - I reflected on how different life is today than it was 8 months ago...forgiveness. 

We'll be married 20 years in a couple of weeks and neither one of us is perfect - but we complete each other. We must take the good with the bad and learn forgiveness, trust and have the faith to walk into each day as the first day of our lives together. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. 

I'm looking forward to the day I can say I've been married 56 years to the same human being.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

~~Heart to Heart Soul Creations

h2hsc2020