Day 27 - Routine Procedure went Awry

Day 27, January 27, 2020 

Good morning! The UBC challenge for today was to write about a true story. Oh, do I have a story to share with you...many of my friends and family will remember this as if it was yesterday. Their prayers, encouragement, and support were what kept our family sustained during this time. 

It all began back in 2016.  I went to the hospital for a routine procedure that involved a Bronchoscopy, an Endoscopy and a. Laryngoscopy The doctor was looking to see if I had a mass around my vocal cords as my voice started changing and the cough wasn't going away. He was thinking maybe something had happened during the Thyroidectomy in 2014 that created this mass and needed to be sure so he would know how to move forward with my treatment of care. 

The procedure wasn't supposed to have taken place that day, but the nurse had called a few days earlier and indicated they had an opening. I took it. We didn't say anything to the kids, after all, it was a very routine procedure. My husband took the day off and we went to the hospital on the morning of June 28, 2016

While sitting in the recovery room waiting to go home after the procedure, the nurse asked me to take a sip of water. When I did, I began choking, had excruciating pain in my back and chest and couldn't catch my breath. Ronnie was patting me on the back, thinking that water had gone down my windpipe. The nurse continued to set there and would say, catch your breath. I COULD NOT BREATHE - I could feel my body begin to burn. It felt weird all over. I'm sure my face was turning blue from lack of oxygen!!! They immediately took me back for a CT scan to find that my esophagus had ruptured and now it had become a matter of life and death for me. I needed to have emergency surgery in hopes of repairing the damage caused by the doctor who did the original procedure. During this time, my lungs also collapsed. I was rushed to ICU until they got the treatment team in place (the last thing I remember is - being held up on the CT scan machine by 6 men). After they admitted me into ICU my husband went home. 

I recall a doctor making a mark on my chest to relieve the pressure from my lung -I was terrified. I had seen this procedure too many times on that show Life in the ER and it looks so painful, please don't do this to me! I passed out. 

About 3:30 a.m., my family was contacted to return to the hospital immediately as I could die during this surgery. Once they arrived, they brought them in to see me. I vaguely remember them being in the room.  The nurses took me back for emergency surgery. 

When I opened my eyes, all I saw were tubes and machines. I was strapped to the bed so I wouldn't / couldn't move. There were two nurses in the room, a male and a female. The male nurse had hair short and spiky and reminded me of the joker when he smiled. The female nurse was much shorter than he was. She was soft-spoken. I wanted to talk but couldn't. Looking around the room, I remember seeing the board on the wall with the date. My eyes were swollen, watery and still being quite disoriented from all this madness- I was trying to make sense of that date on the board. It showed July 1st. I was very confused, trying to make sense of it all because that wasn't the day I arrived at the hospital. I was thinking to myself among the fear and panic I must have been feeling - what on earth has happened??? It appeared by this date; I had been there for 3 days. 

Continuing to get a grip of this dire situation while laying completely on my back, I see a ventilator, life support machine, this tube - that tube, I had NG tubes in my nose and chest tubes hanging out of both of my sides. Something was in my back and side. It hurt so bad laying on my back, but that's all I could do. I didn't know what was causing this pain. Later I learned it was 17 staples (these were NOT small staples either - they were like brackets) across my left backside and up under my left breast. This is where they entered to do emergency surgery. My daughter told me a few weeks later, they had wanted to open up my chest wall like they do with Cardiac patients, but she told them they better find another way...she is my Power of Attorney and has been since the Thyroid Cancer in 2013. I was on all kinds of iv antibiotics and a ton of different medications. A code blue was called 3 times on me during this ordeal. I remember all of this like it was yesterday. I remember seeing my life unfold from the time I was a baby until current day. It was so surreal - it was like I was watching a home movie of my life. I knew then, I had been walking with the Angels at that point. There were days after this horrific few days, I thought why God didn’t just call me home. 

I laid in the hospital for 47 days unable to eat anything. This machine, that machine and all the tubes known to man were still stretched out across my body. They were giving me iv nutrition. I had 2 different pick lines. One in my arm and one in my chest. Once the ng tube was removed, I began trying to take in clear liquids. This resulted in a great deal of nausea and vomiting. BACK on the iv nutrition, I went...It was a very slow process trying to eat again. At one time, the doctors indicated I may never eat solid food again...my life as I knew it has been altered. The doctors even said during all of my doctor's visits after being discharged, eating may be a thing of the past and I possibly may end up on a lifelong feeding tube...so as you see, this routine procedure was a very traumatic and emotional experience for both me and my family.

Many nights, the doctor would come into my room in the wee hours of morning - stand at the foot of my bed and say, "people die from this type of injury...you need to move forward very slow...he would always say, this only happens to about 1 in 10,000 and I was the 'lucky' one". Each week in the hospital, I had a CT scan with barium to see how the rupture was healing. It is still there but contained. However, when I get sick - I take a chance of reopening the hole. Daily, I'd have x rays done...

When there would be a nurse change, (I laugh now, but back then - I wasn't laughing) - they'd ask me, 'were you in an automobile accident'? They'd ask this because of the ruptured esophagus. Many of these nurses had no clue 'how' to treat me or care for me. They would literally be researching on their computers from my room. They'd ask me this question and that question just trying to figure out the best care for me. Remember, this ONLY happens to 1 in every 10,000 people. I had many wonderful RN's, and I had a few I requested them NOT to be allowed back in my room. Not because they couldn't care for me, but because of their attitude towards another human being. It was obvious, they were only there for the paycheck - not because caring for others was their passion in life. 

When I was discharged from the hospital, I was told to eat soft foods. Well, that didn't go over very well and the doctor put me on a strict liquid diet for three more months. Going back and forth to the emergency room due to extreme nausea, abdominal pains and unable to keep liquids down - I remained on a strict liquid diet until the end of December. It was quite difficult as there isn't much to partake of daily other than soup, broth, yogurt, ice cream, and protein drinks. Smoothies and I became very good friends. Then this happened. I went to see the doctor during one of the follow-up appointments, he told me I could NOT have fruit of any kind so that nixes the smoothie idea. GREAT, first they alter my life, now they tell me I can't have fruit...! ugh, I was NOT a happy camper in no way, shape or form! I was so angry. 

During that very same doctor's visit, I learned that for them to access where the rupture was, they had to remove ribs and stretch my rib cage apart. (Now wouldn't you think they would have mentioned that in the hospital?) ...No, they didn't - NOT a word. (I even recall telling the nurses AND the doctors while I was in the hospital that my back and side hurt more after they removed the tubes than when the tubes were in place). Surely, I would have thought, someone would have mentioned the ribs and my ribcage. But not a word...silence isn't golden here!!! I felt more and more anger brewing inside of my being. 

I battled extreme dizziness and nausea for days, months on end. Every move I made, I had extreme abdominal pain. I couldn’t take in many liquids as they made me so sick to my stomach. I felt like I was living hell on earth, literally. My stomach and abdomen were very swollen from the inflammation in my esophagus.  

When all of this occurred, my husband was our only source of income as I had to quit working due to other health issues in early 2016. 

Fast forward to 2020, there are still days I look nine months pregnant because of my abdomen swelling so much from inflammation. I still have bouts of choking spells and about every 4 - 6 months, I must have an esophageal stretch. Talk about having panic attacks - - just the thought of something going awry again like that horrific day in June 2016 makes me go berserk! Eventually, my throat will completely close because of this horrific, routine procedure going terribly wrong. From time to time current day I have choking spells. I must put myself on a liquid diet because trying to digest the food hurts too much. At times, I can't lay on my side or my back because of the pain from the removal of the ribs. Doctors said that pain could possibly last a lifetime and I still live with the cough that started all this chaos! 

Now some of you may be asking if there was a lawsuit at the end of this horrific ordeal- there should have been - that's another story for another day, but the answer is NO - the hospital and doctors were untouchable because it happened at one of the state-funded county hospitals. My bill was $237.00 shy of a million bucks!!! 

I still have a way to go even though each day is a new day...I strive to remain positive, focused and determined to beat the odds of this routine surgery gone wrong. I'm no longer angry and I thank God daily for allowing me another day on earth. Had it not been for the grace of God and his protection over my body, soul, and mind - I'd be one lost and angry woman with nothing to live for but bitterness. This traumatic journey is just another one of those stumbling blocks that I speak of where I've turned them into steppingstones. GOD IS and WILL ALWAYS BE MY WAYMAKER!!! I am a miracle...

A page from my glue book using napkins 

If I could say anything of substance it would be this, be thankful for all the little things in life - because we never know when our life or the lives of others will be altered. Be willing to forgive, make amends and love. Don't take things for granted. 

Smiles...

~~Heart to Heart Soul Creations

h2hsc2020