Cemeteries

April 9, 2020
Ultimate Blog Challenge

Here we are on day 9 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for the 2nd quarter of 2020. Where is the time going? As I continue to stay within my theme chosen of genealogy, I'm going to talk about a word we don't like discussing very much because of what it represents. 

C E M E T E R I E S

A time of loss. A time of finality. A time of grief. A time of sorrow. An ending to a beginning. 

Cemeteries can hold deep significance for families when loved ones are buried in them. I have many family members who have been laid to rest (so to speak) in cemeteries. I can't remember the last time I visited their gravesites though. 

On my last two trips to Amarillo, I thought about visiting the cemetery where my grandparents are buried...I drove in on I-40 passing the cemetery. It wouldn't take me long to stop and honor their memory, but I kept on driving. Maybe I'll stop on my way out of town...sure, that's what I'll do. The day came for me to make my way back to the big city...passing the cemetery once again, I continued to drive...I don't know what keeps me from going. Maybe it's the loss that I feel when I think about my grandparents. After all, they did raise me from the time I was born until their deaths. It could be, I don't want to feel that emotion of grief. Whatever the case may be, death is death and that doesn't change. 

Did you know that a graveyard is different than a cemetery? Yes, they both are a place to bury the dead, but they have different meanings. Most times, a graveyard is associated with a church. It's quite smaller than an average cemetery. It is part of the churchyard. I visited several of these over the course of the last year. The first one was in Louisiana when I went for the 61st Annual Hillman Reunion. 

Sunday morning came around and I went to church with my cousin's family. 

Directly behind the church is a graveyard. Most of the people buried there are related to my Monk Family ties one way or the other. The chain-link fence and the gate photo are the entrance to the graveyard. These are a couple of people who are in my family tree. They were 4th cousins to me. It was an honor walking the graveyard and paying my respects to those who are buried there. 

 

I've always enjoyed going to cemeteries. I enjoy looking at the dates, the ages, the stories that are left untold. It saddens me when I see a young child gone at a very young age. In Mineral Wells, Texas. across the road from where my great grandparents (Chennault’s) lived, there is an old cemetery with very old headstones in it. Every time we visited them, I always wanted to walk that old cemetery. 

Today is still the same when I see a cemetery -my car is like a magnet... I want to stop and walk around and look at the headstones, read the names, and wonder what their stories were. (I find it strange that growing up I enjoyed reading the Obituaries). Kids don't do that...but this kid did. Now I know why...genealogy reasons! I learn a great deal in reading an Obituary. That information helps with my research. 

One thing that's true today, thinking about the people who have had to say goodbye to their loved ones without a service being held due to the Coronavirus pandemic saddens me. They will be laid to rest without anyone around. I'm sure once everything settles down, families young and old will honor their loved ones 'after' the fact...but the reality is it won't be the same. If any of you reading my post have lost loved ones as a result of this crazy pandemic or know someone that has passed...I'm truly sorry for your loss. There are no words to take away the pain or the grief you or your family is feeling. I hope and pray somehow you find peace and comfort. 

I'm grieving the loss of my own mother and it wasn't because of the Coronavirus. In fact, I'm thankful she passed just a few short days before the outbreak struck. I've had so many distractions though - honestly, I don't think I've truly grieved my mom. I do at times have waves of emotions that set on my heart and I think about her memory...I miss my mom. 

Did you know in Texas, there are 50,000 Historic cemeteries and only a portion of them have any information on them. I recall early last year, I traveled to Houston, Texas with my daughter. When we were going through Waco, my eye caught a headstone on the side of the highway. It wasn't in a cemetery or a graveyard, it was right beside the paved road in which we were traveling. I wanted to stop, but my daughter insisted we keep moving down the road. As we continued our journey down the road, ever so often I would see another headstone alongside the paved road.  (I plan on going back one day and walking through the cemeteries in Waco, TX as well as looking at the ones alongside the road). 

Several years ago, when I was doing some genealogy research out in Paris, Texas (Lamar County) - I had the opportunity to travel across the state lines into Oklahoma. Just across the Red River on the Oklahoma side is a small town called, Hugo. Hugo became a popular wintering place for circus and rodeo companies, because of its mild climate. An estimated twenty circuses at times were based in Hugo, OK. In 2008, there were three. (Wikipedia). This is where the Circus Cemetery is. Yes, you read right...the Circus Cemetery

There is a section in the cemetery called, "Showmen's Rest". There are some huge monuments there. There are many famous people buried there too, along with some common names such as Martin, Smith, Brown's, etc. The headstones in the Circus Cemetery are quite unique. You might find a big top tent or an elephant. There are clowns, too. I don't know about you, but I haven't seen any headstones like that in cemeteries I've been in before. The cemetery is quite interesting, and I want to take another trip to Hugo, OK and spend more time walking around that famous cemetery.  

Some of the people buried in this cemetery are Ed Ansley, better known as Buster Brown and Lane Frost, a famous Bull rider is also buried here. (8 Seconds, a movie starring Luke Perry as Lane Frost was released in 1994). 

This cemetery is an amazing place to visit not only to honor those who have passed but to visit the Showmen's Rest area and see the unique headstones and learn about the people who were in the circus. 

Moving on, I want to talk about some disheartening things found at cemeteries today. Recently, a cousin of mine had visited a cemetery in Mesquite, Texas while doing some genealogy research. When he got home, he messaged me and told me about what he had found...he was quite taken back with what he had seen. I'll give you an example - gravesites that have sunken. (probably created by weather or lack of water). He also mentioned many broken headstones that lay on or near the original sites. When he sent me the photos as seen below, my heart sank. I wondered if there were no family members who visit these sites regularly or was there no money to fix them? I'm sure across America in most cemeteries one will find things like this. I know sometimes though; vandalism causes images like this. Whatever the case may be though, it is quite sad - especially knowing "how" much it costs to bury a loved one unless they were buried in a Pauper's Grave. 

A pauper's grave - -it's sad to think that regardless of a person's life, history or story - that no one in the family claims the body. It's possible though, that someone buried in a pauper's grave was unknown or indigent. I've known of people who were buried in a pauper's grave and it breaks my heart on many levels. 

A website that I use a great deal when I'm working on my family tree or that of another person is Find A Grave. This site is another source of learning a wealth of information about a person and their family.

I've found many times; I may just have a name - no family at all on my tree for a particular person. When I come across a memorial on Find A Grave, many times I will learn of their parents, their siblings, their spouse (s), and their children, too. I get excited when there are write-ups on the Memorials in Find A Grave. The things we learn from them are priceless and sometimes very disheartening. For example, a child losing both of their parents on the same day and they are a toddler or the mother of 15 children loses her husband to war and now must figure out how to make ends meet. Everything matters. Everyone matters. 

When I access a person's memorial on the Find A Grave site and there aren't any family members associated with them, if I have the information, I will always suggest edits to update the record. After all, we all have a mother and a father. 

Also, talking about headstones and cemeteries - Find A Grave has volunteers that will go out and take photos of the cemeteries and the headstones if requested. All they ask is a little bit of information like the cemetery or location if known and the name of the person.  I think that is amazing that people take time out of their day to provide this service. (I guess they like walking the cemeteries too...maybe I should be a volunteer!) I've requested many photos from the volunteers at Find A Grave. 

My post might have been a difficult read today, the fact remains though - -being a genealogist and following the leads, turning over the stones to find the answers - cemeteries can prove to be very useful in one's research. The memories of our loved ones locked away in our hearts and minds will go on for a lifetime - even though, their bodies turn cold and turn to dust in the dark, damp ground called the grave. Don't despair as they aren't there any longer, they have moved on. Every person who has died has a story to be told. Don't wait until it's too late to listen...because then, they can't be told. 

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